Secret online dating tips revealed by Harvard math majors

More people have ventured into the potentially hazardous waters of online dating than would care to admit – and some of their adventures have been truly hair-raising.

Now a group of former Harvard math majors are crunching the data to reveal the secret tips of the online dater, displaying them in – naturally – graph form.

Men, for example, should show off their six pack if they have one – but only if they’re young. Meanwhile women should always flirt with the camera – but men should look aloof.

The OkTrends blog found at dating website OkCupid have been charting various trends – such as how long relationships last among Twitter users – since 2009.

Scientists are analysing the tips, all written by former Harvard math majors, in a new article by the LATimes – and the results are divided.

‘I’m a big fan,’ Northwestern University social psychology professor Eli Finkel told the newspaper, adding that the posts are ‘generally insightful’.

Viren Swami, co-author of The Psychology of Physical Attraction, was less enthusiastic, saying: ‘They could also potentially be very misleading and, at worst, quite far from the truth’.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1389567/Braving-perils-online-dating-The-secret-tips-revealed-Harvard-math-majors.html#ixzz1NIQScUw5

Marriage tips

We’re no experts, but focusonthefamily.ca brings you some practical ways to help strengthen your marriage and take your relationship to new heights:

Take your spouse to work
If possible, take your spouse to your office so he or she can meet your coworkers and see what you do every day. This can help your spouse understand more about your job duties, especially when you come home and talk about your day.

Make fast food romantic
The next time you and your spouse dine under the golden arches, bring a tablecloth and a candle. This bold move shows off your creativity and adds an element of fun and romance to your otherwise ordinary date.

Create a gratitude journal
Buy a lined notebook or journal and place it someplace central, such as your kitchen table. Every day, take turns writing down a reason (or two, or 10) that you’re thankful for your spouse. 

Verbalize your thanks
Thank your spouse regularly. Expressing your thanks doesn’t just make your spouse feel loved, appreciated and wanted, but it also helps to remind you of their positive qualities. When showing your gratitude, focus on the person and not the action or object. For example, say “You’re an amazing cook” instead of “Thanks for making lunch.”

Give your spouse a break
If you have children, take them on a field trip to give your spouse a moment of solitude. Example trips for an afternoon include ice cream parlours, park playgrounds, museums – many which have free or discount admission days – and zoos. It can work as a great bonding time for you with your kids, while also allowing your spouse to relax, unwind and not have to worry about taking care of anyone.

Acknowledge change
People constantly change, but married couples sometimes begin to take each other for granted and stop seeing these changes. This can make each spouse feel ignored, unnoticed or – even worse – unwanted. Take a moment every day to verbally acknowledge a new thing in your spouse. This can be something as simple as complimenting a new shirt, or deeper issues like discussing a new view of a Bible verse. Regularly doing this can help show your spouse that you’re aware of them and engaged in their personal development.

Write it down
In the heat of a situation, your anger can make it difficult and counterproductive to discuss your disagreements with your spouse. Instead of verbally expressing yourself, try writing down your thoughts. Wait a few hours and revisit your note when you’ve had time to calm down. This can help you separate your emotions from the true problems so you can both work together to smooth over any potential issues.

Do the chores
Surprise your spouse by doing a household chore or task that is typically their duty. For example, make dinner or clean the bathroom. This gesture helps to demonstrate your awareness and thankfulness for your spouse’s contributions to your home and relationship.

Use nonverbal signs
Half of a conversation is nonverbal, reports psychology studies. Use physical signs to show your spouse that you’re listening intently. For example, give their hand a gentle squeeze. Also, face them when they speak and lean forward slightly; these are signs that you’re interested and receptive to what they’re saying.

Older adults turning to online dating

LEADER-POST

Individuals over the age of 50 are turning more frequently to Internet dating to find a new significant other.

After losing a loved one or completing a divorce, many baby boomers are considering getting back into the dating pool. In busy times filled with work responsibilities and family obligations, logging on to the computer to find a date can be much easier than finding a date in a social setting. Internet dating sites often provide a good number of candidates for busy people to consider.

Twenty-two per cent of the registered members of Match.com are over the age of 50. There’s a good chance that other popular dating sites also have a growing number of older participants as well. There are also dating sites geared to the over50 crowd to make narrowing down prospects even easier.

Finding oneself in midlife and looking for a date or new mate is actually quite common. Thousands of people are in the same situation. In a September 2003 study of singles aged 55+, The American Association for Retired People discovered that 49 per cent of respondents cited, “Having someone to talk to or do things with” as the most important reason for dating.

Seniors dating can have a unique set of challenges in comparison to younger daters. These include:

. Habits or routines that have developed after months or years of living single.

. Added baggage from divorce.

. Older children who may not be keen to their parents dating again.

. Elderly parents who need care.

. Physical appearance woes, such as wrinkles and extra weight.

. Medical conditions that may be embarrassing or serious.

. Self-esteem issues from being out of the dating loop for so long.

Baby Boomers now represent more than a quarter of the population, and many are being spurred on by children to look into online dating.