Whether you use the technical term fellatio or call it a blow job, going down on a man, or giving him head, performing fellatio is an act that requires a lot of trust and a little bit of knowledge.
Social messages about fellatio suggest that guys love it so much they don’t care about technique. In reality there is a lot of variation in fellatio skills, and knowing how to read your partner, what to do to him, and when to do it can make all the difference. If you’ve got the basics down you can read more about advanced fellatio technique.
Time Required: Fellatio can be fast and dirty or slow and seductive, no set time required.
- Start him off nice and clean.
Social stigma seems to focus on the taste of women’s genitals more than men’s. In fact men can smell and taste just as strong as women. If you’re new to fellatio, you might be worried about taste and smell. If so, suggest a sexy bath or shower together and start with a clean slate. You can also add a bit of flavored personal lubricant to his penis or put on a flavored condom, which is great for safer oral sex.
- Physical comfort is key.
You can’t have fun and perform well if you’re not physically comfortable, and fellatio can put a strain on your neck and jaw. Kneeling before him on a pillow, while he’s standing or sitting, gives you good range of motion and plenty of access. If you’ve had bad experiences with fellatio where you felt lack of control, have him on his back and crouch in between his legs. Giving head can put you in a major power position, if you like that feeling then go for it.
- Tease him with touch.
Using your hands first, gently caress his inner thighs, penis, testicles, and perineum, paying attention to his reactions (verbal and facial) as you touch certain spots. The most sensitive spot on a guy’s penis is the head (known as the glans), especially the frenulum, an indentation between the glans and the shaft on the underside of the penis. You might want to brush up on your knowledge of male sexual anatomy , to know what you’re working with.
- Give him a lick.
Follow up with your tongue, exploring the same terrain using slow wide strokes with your tongue. Don’t be afraid to use lots of saliva, as this natural lube feels great and helps create friction and suction. There are many STDs that can be passed during fellatio, using flavored condoms is a great way to practice safer sex and deal with any taste you may not like. It is also a perfect way to get guys who say they have difficulty with condoms, to gladly put one on.
- Take him in your mouth.
When he’s semi-erect, slowly guide your lips over the tip of his penis, making sure your lips cover your teeth as you slide gently down his shaft as far as you’re comfortable. Keep your mouth taut, as the pressure from your lips will feel great as they glide down the penis. Putting him in your mouth before he is fully erect is a good way of getting comfortable with the size of his penis, particularly if he is in the larger range.
- Watch the gag reflex.
If you’re not adept at deep throat (taking the whole penis in your mouth), don’t try it or you’ll trigger the gag reflex. It’s not necessary and a similar effect can be achieved with the hand and mouth technique described below. With practice, you can learn to relax your gag reflex and take in more of the penis.
- Use your mouth and tongue.
As your head travels up the underside of the penis, flatten your tongue so it gives his frenulum a nice wide, wet stroke. Don’t be afraid to try different types of licks or kisses—the lips feel good when popped over the ridge of the penis—but perform each stroke repeatedly before changing to give consistent pleasure.
- Have fun with the foreskin.
If your partner is uncircumcised, insert your tongue into the foreskin and circle around the head with it. You can also use your fingers to gently massage the head through the foreskin, alternating with deep tongue licks.
- Using your mouth and hand, tip #1.
A great blow job incorporates both hands and mouth. Place one hand around the shaft of his penis while you move up and down on the top half of his penis. Try coordinating your movements so your hand and mouth are going up and down in unison. If you’re partner is thrusting, your hand will prevent his penis from being pushed too far into your mouth.
- Using your mouth and hand, tip #2.
If he likes this combination, bring your hand all the way up the shaft (following your mouth), remove your mouth briefly, use your palm to slide and twist over the head (as if you were juicing an orange), and then glide your hand back down followed by your mouth again. Repeat.
- Let him come.
When he’s ready to orgasm, keep your movements consistent and firm—don’t slack off. Once he starts ejaculating, see him through with a few strokes and then stop, as most men don’t want continued stimulation once they’ve ejaculated and had an orgasm.
- To swallow or not to swallow?
This decision is entirely up to you. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t want to, but it’s nice to let your partner know it’s nothing personal. If you don’t want to swallow, and you aren’t familiar with the signs of imminent ejaculation , let him know you want a warning. Remove your mouth as he’s about to ejaculate, and continue hand stroking through his orgasm.
- Don’t forget the rest of his body. The scrotum and testicles (balls) are particularly sensitive, and most men like them to be stimulated. Try lightly licking or touching his testicles during oral sex. He might also like them to be cradled gently in one of your hands. Some men go wild when you place your hand around the top of the scrotum and gently tug down.
- You can also apply pressure to his perineum (the spot between his anus and his penis) with one or two fingers, as this also can feel good.
- He might like wearing a butt plug during fellatio for added prostate stimulation. Or you can apply pressure to his anus with one of your fingers.
Next blog: Oral Sex Tips for Women