101 Things Not To Say During Sex – Part 1

Strangeplaces. net provides us with a quirky list of  101 things NOT to say during sex. We will break the list down into two parts, so here is the first 50 (the remainder will be posted tomorrow).

Enjoy!

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1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. (in a janitor’s closet) And they say romance is dead…

6. Try breathing through your nose

7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!

8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

10. But whipped cream makes me break out

11. Person 1: This is your first time… right? 
Person 2: Yeah… today

12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

13. Can you please pass me the remote control?

14. Do you accept Visa?

15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

16. On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.

17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.

19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

20. Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober…

Saying the wrong things in bed can ruin the mood. Quickly.

21. (holding a banana) It’s just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

22. Do you get any premium movie channels?

23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

25. Got any penicillin?

26. But I just brushed my teeth…

27. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

29. I want a baby!

30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth…

33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

34. I think you have it on backwards

35. When is this supposed to feel good?

36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

37. You’re good enough to do this for a living!

38. Is that blood on the headboard?

39. Did I remember to take my pill?

40. Are you sure I don’t know you from somewhere?

41. I wish we got the Playboy channel…

42. That leak better be from the waterbed!

43. I told you it wouldn’t work without batteries!

44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow

45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance…

47. No, really… I do this part better myself!

48. It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate!

49. This would be more fun with a few more people..

50. You’re almost as good as my ex!

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Do you know of any other phrases you shouldn’t say during sex? Let us know below!

101 Sex Day Challenge – Join the Discussion

As you may know, Lust Cosmetics is a partner in the 101 Sex Day Challenge, which is hosted by Happyher.com. The challenge is reaching its one month mark in one week, but runs until January.

If you haven’t done so already, please join the 101 Sex Day Challenge forum on Diddletalk.com. Couples participating in the challenge share their stories, including their struggles and success. The forum also includes some fantastic advice–so you don’t need to be a participant in the challenge to benefit! Please sign up for a FREE account and support the participants!

Click here to visit the 101 Sex Day Challenge Forum.

How Many Sex Partners Is Too Many?

Ever wonder how your number of sexual partners measures up to the norm? Curious about why partners sometimes react so badly when you divulge details of your sexual history? Judy Dutton, author of How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover, answers those and other questions below.

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Q: How many sexual partners is too many?

A: According to one study that asked men and women the ideal number of partners they’d like to have in their lifetime, men said they’d like to have 18 partners on average, women four or five. So by that logic, men who’ve had more than eighteen partners and women who’ve had more than five may be overshooting what the average American would deem ideal.

Q: How many sex partners does the average woman have?

A: According to one study by the National Center for Health Statistics, women will typically have four partners by their mid forties. Men will typically have six to eight partners during that same time period. The problem, though, is that both men and women lie – not only to each other, but to pollsters as well. So whether these numbers are accurate is hard to say.

Q: Should a woman be honest about how many men she’s slept with?

People often assume that promiscuous people have emotional problems or low self-esteem.

A: That would be noble, but studies suggest that even today, women downplay the number of partners in their past. In one study, women reported having 2.6 partners on average. And yet, when these women were hooked up to a lie detector that would ferret out if they were fibbing, they admitted to having 4.4 partners. Meanwhile, men exaggerate the number of notches in their belt. The take-home message is, if you ask someone how many people they’ve slept with, shave a few off men’s tallies and tack on a couple extra to women’s totals.

Q: Is there an ideal number of sex partners to have?

A: Believe it or not, mathematicians have calculated that the ideal number of people to sleep with is twelve. It’s been dubbed the “twelve-bonk rule.” If that sounds high, keep in mind you don’t have to actually “bonk” 12 people; just dating 12 is fine, too. The reasoning behind this is, if you’ve slept with less than 12 people, you haven’t sampled enough of the goods to know what’s best for you. If you’ve slept with more than 12, chances are you’ve passed over a perfectly great partner and are just being too picky. If you’re in the latter group, consider flipping through your little black book and giving an Ex a second chance.

 

Q: Why do we often freak out when a partner tells us how many people he or she has slept with – regardless of the number? Why are we so judgmental about this?

A: Aside from the STD issue, people often assume that promiscuous people have emotional problems or low self-esteem. And yet, while studies from the 1960s do show that promiscuous people have low self-esteem, studies from the 1970s onward show that promiscuous people have higher self-esteem than their sexually conservative peers. In 1991, one study found that women with low self-esteem had 5.5 partners, women with high self-esteem 8.8 partners. Meanwhile, men with low self-esteem had 8.8 partners, those with high esteem 16 partners.

Q: Are you better off lying or just keeping this info to yourself?

A: The problem is, if you say “the number of people I’ve slept with is none of your business,” your partner is going to assume the worst! So, that leaves you with two reasonable options: fib, or tell the truth. One third of men and one tenth of women admit that they’ve lied in order to convince someone to have sex with them. Forty per cent of these fibbers understated the number of partners in their past, while twenty per cent lied about whether they’ve taken an HIV test. I guess my point is, don’t believe what anyone says! And if you do tell the truth and someone reacts badly, they’re not worth dating anyway. Good riddance!

To read the original article, visit www.thatsfit.ca

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Four Positions for a Better Orgasm

Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, gives insight into four positions for a better orgasm. Sweet.

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Of course you want a steamier sex life — but there is more to it then candlelight and lingerie. There are actual tried-and-true methods for getting better stimulated and having the Big O. So, get ready for hotter sex with suggestions that will surprise and thrill your partner:

Get ready for more hot and steamy sex with these orgasmic positions.

Modified Missionary:

You’ve probably tried the standard missionary position before. But many women complain that they can’t achieve an orgasm with the man lying on top. This modified version should take things up a notch:

Lie on your back and put your legs over your partner’s shoulders. This is a good position if you need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and it is a nice way to begin to experience building a G-spot orgasm. He’ll have a lot of control over stimulating your G-spot, and you can play with your clitoris to have an orgasm.

Mouth and Finger, Yum!

Many women have an easier time achieving an orgasm through oral sex than with intercourse. And since we can only assume that your partner would love nothing more than to try new ways to please you, ask your partner not to use the tongue as a vibrator on your clit, but to caress your clitoris, urethra and vaginal opening with lips and tongue. Slower is better, so you have time to absorb all the sensations and to remember to relax.

When you feel aroused, ask him to insert a finger, ever so slowly, and rub your G-spot very slowly but firmly. Over time, your G-spot will become more easily aroused, and swollen, and less stimulation will be necessary to feel ready for orgasm.

The point of this exercise is to relax and allow the sensitivity and pleasure to grow and evolve by shifting your focus bit by bit from clitoris to G-spot, over many lovemaking sessions.

Face to Face on a Stool:

A tall kitchen stool is perfect for communicating and slowly working up to soulful eye-to-eye communication. If you are used to closing your eyes and burying your head in the pillow, you’ll find that in this position you are more present and equal. No one’s weight is on anyone; you are facing each other (he’s standing and you’re sitting). You can look down at his penis, and he can get valuable feedback about the types of strokes he is delivering when he sees your face and hears your delighted sounds.

Because this position provides intense stimulation to the G-spot and a clear, direct way to communicate, this is the best position for both of you to learn how to awaken and stimulate your G-spot. Your clitoris can also be easily stimulated.

This position is excellent for deep penetration — if the stool is sturdy — and for exploring how deep, penetrating thrusts can trigger the sensations of a uterine orgasm (different than a vaginal orgasm, but equally enjoyable). It’s likely that at first you may not have an orgasm and you may not ejaculate, but it’s worth it to explore a uterine orgasm.

Standing up from Behind:

This position borrows certain elements of the popular “doggy-style” position, where the woman is on her hands and knees and is entered from behind. But if you try standing up, slightly bent forward, you’ll find more pressure on the G-spot than with the traditional doggy-style position. Your partner’s movements will push forward against your G-spot, and that’s exactly what you want for good stimulation.

In all these sexual positions, it is important to have your G-spot aroused before he enters. Expressing your delight in your growing sensitivity and arousal is the best way to communicate with him. If he hears, “Oh, oh, my gosh! Oh, that is so sensitive!” he will slow down, but stay aroused and excited. If you say, “I need you to slow down,” especially in a non-erotic voice, he may feel he is being dictated to or worry that he is not pleasing you. His fun and confidence will be affected and he may lose his erection. G-spot sensitivity, G-spot orgasms and ejaculating freely will not happen overnight. He’ll learn a few things, and you’ll give up a few things while you wait for him to catch up. Let him know when he really hits the target. It’s helpful to say to your partner, “Oh, oh, oh, please remember that spot!” That gets the message across in an exciting way.

Don’t expect him always to remember, but do expect him to catch on after a while. The great thing about all these positions — and more generally about learning to awaken your G-spot — is the gradualness with which this can occur. Unlike learning to have an orgasm, which often leads people to stick to one method, variety in how you experience pleasure and orgasm will increase as you slowly incorporate your G-spot awakening into what you already do.

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Tips for Meeting Your Date’s Parents

U.S. Thanksgiving is around the corner, and Christmas is just over a month away. Bonny Albo, About.com, shares Tips for Meeting Your Date’s Parents This Holiday Season.

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Concerned that your first interaction with your date’s parents this holiday season will resemble a scene from Meet the Parents? For the most part, meeting the parents will be harrowing but few parents will go out of their way to make you uncomfortable. Still, some preparation is a sound idea – and the following tips will ensure your meeting the parents is a positive experience.

1. When Meeting the Parents, Looks Matter

Cleanliness, grooming and presentation count when meeting the parents. With that being said, it doesn’t mean you need to be a model to wow the parents, but you do need to take more time than normal dressing to impress. For the ladies that means no super short skirts, outfits meant for bar hopping, unusual fashion statements or torn up jeans. For gentlemen this means no ball caps, cartoon t-shirts or clothing that needs pressing, hemming or tailoring. In general, try and be more conservative than normal while still being yourself.

 

2. Research As Much as You Can Beforehand

Depending on the differences between you and your partner, there may be a large list of things to cover with this tip or just a few. Either way, researching culture, religion, language, hobbies, interests and beliefs are great ways to prepare to meet the parents. If their native language is different than your own, learn how to pronounce basic greetings impeccably. Make sure you ask your partner what customs are normal in his or her family as well (such as kissing on the cheek when meeting or certain language that is or isn’t acceptable at the dinner table). Preparation is key here, especially if you are meeting the parents during the holiday season and their celebrations differ greatly than your own.

 

3. Know What Names to Use When Meeting the Parents

Say you are meeting your partner’s Mother for the first time, but you suddenly freeze up when thinking about what name to call her? You know she is divorced, but did she keep her ex-husband’s last name? Alleviate these kind of heart-wrenching moments by asking your partner before meeting either parent what greetings and names are customarily used, and then commit them to memory for the big day.

 

4. Don’t Go Empty Handed

No matter what the situation, when meeting the parents for the first time don’t go empty-handed. Dinner parties hosted by non-drinking families may appreciate some after-dinner specialty coffees or chocolates, but this is where the research in tip #2 will come in handy. Flowers, wine, a family-oriented board game or something homemade may or may not be appropriate, but you’ll never really know unless you ask. And if someone tells you that gifts aren’t required – ignore them. Meeting the parents without a gift in hand is a no-no. Period.

 

5. Avoid Tenuous Topics

Many people instinctively know that there are certain topics to avoid when meeting the parents, but because it isn’t immediately obvious to everyone, this tip needs to be stated blatantly: avoid all taboo topics. This includes anything currently in the news that could be debated, politics, sex, religion and even sports. The only exceptions to this rule is if you are already absolutely positive that you and the parents agree on the subject – and even then don’t share more than is necessary. You are probably being tested if these kinds of questions come up, which is fine, but not to be covered when first meeting the parents if at all possible.

 

6. Politeness Counts When Meeting the Parents

It doesn’t matter who you interact with when meeting the parents. What does matter is how you treat your partners’ parents and other family members, as well as their personal property. This means pitching in when asked (or offering to help when the dishes need to be done), saying please and thank you, avoiding slang or casual terms like yup, treating annoying and/or frustrating family members (including pets) with kindness, putting the toilet seat down, and sitting with your knees together.

 

7. Above All Else, Be Yourself

This last tip may seem to counter some of the other tips mentioned here, but the intention is not to change who you are when meeting the parents. Instead, think of it as the opportunity to show your best face, where first impressions are crucial. Show who you are, stand tall, and don’t apologize for anything. Breathe, smile, and enjoy yourself. But most of all, be yourself. Your partner’s parents will appreciate your forthrightness and (hopefully) in turn see why their child fell in love with you in the first place.

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